A few years ago when Autumn was almost 2 I got a message from Brenda Birrell inviting me to discuss a possible design position at her company with American Crafts. It was an absolute thrill to have received such a message – an actual dream come true! But at that stage in my life I had a toddler who was on sleep strike, and I lived just too far from where the job would be located. It just wouldn’t work but it was still hard to accept.
A few years later my husband got his dream job working as a web developer for Silhouette America. Silhouette works with a lot of American Craft designers… so he kind of got my dream job too. That email from Brenda, and Stuart getting that job are two of my proudest accomplishments!
Earlier this year as I was riding that wave of post partum hairloss, out of control hormones, and random, intense hot flashes we were at Ikea with my two babies. Struggling to hold things together, exhausted and grubby I spotted someone out the corner of my eye. I recognised her and the sweating started – I have NEVER been star struck in my life. My laid-back personality had never allowed for me to be anything less can cucumber-cool whilst meeting any kind of celebrity. BUT there she was. I froze. Then I started freaking out. Sweating. Stuart told me not to approach her. She disappeared and we went on our way. Then, I saw her again. Turmoil! Stuart told me it was obviously effecting me and that I actually should go say hi to her or I’d regret it forever. I lost her. We decided if I saw her one more time I had to say hello.
I was sure she was gone already as I continued looking for the picture frames I had come for. Calming down, heart rate slowing… then she was there!
“Just say hi.”
I approached her – ambushed really.
“Hi! I just have to say hi! I saw you already and my husband said I had to say hi or I’d regret it forever!…”
She looked startled, and I understand why. I had turned into an absolute maniac. Sweating, my sad post partum hair regrowth frizzy, and seriously battling a hot flash, my face bright red.
“My name is Laura. I’m so excited to meet you that I feel like I might throw up my meatballs. I just ate a lot of meatballs… and I’m sweating so badly that I just want to take my clothes off!”
Why? WHY? Why are you saying that?! Stuart watched on horrified as I pointed him out and introduced him and mentioned again I thought I might throw up on her…
“Okay, nice to meet you too Heidi Swapp!”
Stuart approached me cautiously.
“What on earth did you just do?!”
I wanted to hug her! Had I actually touched her arm? I considered asking to take a selfie with her. All I did was tell her I wanted to remove all my clothing in the middle of Ikea and that there was a chance I was going to BARF ON HER!
We checked out and got back to our car. Things started replaying in my mind. The ambush. The words. The tugging at my hoodie like I was about to remove it. I looked in the mirror. My face still flushed. My frizzy halo, makeupless face… did I even brush my teeth this morning?
Say “hi” or you’ll regret it he had told me…
This whole experience makes me cringe and laugh so hard whenever I think about it. But now we live in Provo and every morning I wake up and pray that I will never run into Brenda Birrell or, heaven forbid, any of The Osmonds!